what IS THE MENTOR'S CODE?
Men's Business suggests keeping the following list in mind during a mentoring relationship:
- All conversations remain confidential
- Keep all agreements and do what you say you will do
- The mentee sets the agenda, not the mentor
- Less is more:
- Avoid lecturing and giving advice
- Avoid blathering on and talking too much
- Avoid making him depend on you
- Avoid fixing and problem solving
- The mentor provides the trusted learning environment
- Maintain discretion and confidentiality
- Stand in, “Nothing is wrong”
- Avoid misunderstandings – if you did you hear what he said ask him to repeat it.
- The relationship cannot be exploitative (either way)
- Respect each other’s time
- Be appropriate about alcohol, physical contact, where you meet and when
- Use breakdowns and friction as an opportunity to learn
- When the relationship is ready to end let it go gracefully and graciously
WHAT BASIC AGREEMENTS SHOULD I MAKE WITH MY MENTEE?
Mentoring sessions are a private matter between both parties and the decision to enter into the relationship is your responsibility. We want things to go well between. you both.
It is therefore important to clarify expectations and objectives for the relationship
What is the exit strategy both agree on up front when the relationship is complete or not working?
How many sessions? (Minimum three to give it a chance)
It is therefore important to clarify expectations and objectives for the relationship
- How often will you meet?
- Who is responsible for what?
- Where will you meet?
- What if one party must reschedule?
- Who keeps notes?
- Who records actions?
What is the exit strategy both agree on up front when the relationship is complete or not working?
How many sessions? (Minimum three to give it a chance)
WHAT BOUNDARIES ARE IMPORTANT TO SET IN A MENTORING RELATIONSHIP?
The decision to enter into a mentoring relationship is voluntary and the responsibility of the participants. Mentoring sessions are a completely private matter between both parties.
That's why solid boundaries are essential to maintain a healthy mentor - mentee relationship. If your mentee is a family member or friend boundaries become even more important because the mentoring relationship demands a high level of transparency, integrity, vulnerability and accountability.
We recommend you consider the following questions when establishing boundaries:
That's why solid boundaries are essential to maintain a healthy mentor - mentee relationship. If your mentee is a family member or friend boundaries become even more important because the mentoring relationship demands a high level of transparency, integrity, vulnerability and accountability.
We recommend you consider the following questions when establishing boundaries:
- Does your prospective mentee need a lot of help, support or assistance? Is he unable to help himself or be responsible for his life? If so, is mentoring even appropriate for him at this time?
- Are you naturally inclined to leap in and help if your mentee is struggling? If so, how will you avoid creating dependency? How will you balance the need to let him work things out by himself versus preventing unnecessary suffering?
- How often will you meet? If it's more than once a month for an hour or two, are you 'helping' him versus mentoring?
- What degree of interaction are you willing to have between sessions? Do you or he want to be phoning, emailing and texting? If so, what limits will you establish?
- How will you both protect your privacy and confidentiality?
- How will you handle breaches of boundaries? What consequences will you agree on with your mentee?
- How will you know it is time to end the relationship? How will you give each other permission to call it quits?
is MENTORING the same as advice?
No. The role of volunteer mentors is to encourage mentees to process their own decisions and make beneficial life choices. The purpose is not to provide advice on the decisions and choices that the mentee may choose to take and any mentee is encouraged to take suitable independent professional advice before acting on any information, suggestion or guidance given by a mentor. Similarly, the facilitation of mentoring interactions by Men's Business and information provided does not represent financial, legal or other professional advice.
