MEN'S BUSINESS

MENTORING SKILLS AND TOOLS

WHAT SHOULD you TALK ABOUT with your mentee IN THE FIRST SESSION?
Schedule two hours. Both bring a notebook, pen and glasses!

We recommend asking the mentee to tell his story. It builds rapport, and the mentee feels known.
  • Let it run for half an hour, or longer if he wants to keep talking
  • If he stops, ask questions to dig deeper (see below for suggested questions)
  • Get the names of important people in his life – family, friends, colleagues, mentors
  • Listen for formative events
  • Take notes
  • Ask, “How was it telling your story?”
  • Next ask him to talk about his ambitions, dreams, goals and hopes for his life
  • Review basic agreements (see above)
  • Agree time for next meeting and put it in your diaries
WHAT SHOULD you TALK ABOUT IN SUBSEQUENT SESSIONS?
Debrief and affirm your mentee:
  •  “Since our last session, what new and different things are you noticing?”
  • “What are you learning?”
  • “What have you accomplished?”
  • "Where have you felt most 'in the flow'? When have you felt most 'out of the flow'?"
In the present:
  • “What do you want to talk about today?”
  • Go with it. Ask questions, challenge, dig
  • This could take the whole session
Looking ahead:
  • “Where do you want to be in 6 months or a year? How would you like your life to be different?”
  • “You identified some hopes, dreams and ambitions last time. Is there anything you’d like to do about them?”
  • "Where are you making progress?"
  • "Where are you stuck?"
  • "What is working / not working?"
  • Go with it. Ask questions.
questions to help you PROBE A LITTLE DEEPER
Sometimes it is useful to probe a little deeper to get to the heart of an issue. Here are some useful general questions:
  • "Tell me more about that?"
  • "What has you think that?"
  • "Is there another way of looking at that issue?"
  • "Is there more you have not told me yet?"
  • "Keep talking"
  • "What has worked about you in that situation and why?"
  • "What has not worked about you in that situation and why?"
  • "What should you start / stop / continue doing?"
  • "What would you like to do about that?"
  • "Is there anything else you could do?"
  • "If anything was possible what would you do?"
  • "Even though you can’t do anything about it, what would you do if you could?"
what to do when your mentee is blaming himself for something wrong
  • Don't ask "What's wrong" Ask "What's missing"​
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